“Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled”
I was married in May and since then, it seems, my life has been one giant leap of faith. My husband is a Catholic missionary so instead of a honeymoon we flew from our wedding straight to summer training. We didn’t know where we were going to be sent until two weeks in, so I could forget about finding a house or applying for any jobs to help tackle that angry giant of student loans that was trying to squish us. Oh, also, my husband had to fundraise 100% of his salary. So to put it mildly, I was freaking out.
I like to be in control. I rely far too often on my human weakness instead of on the Lord, only trusting God as far as I can cooperate with Him. I hear His call but I want to do things my way, in my time. When He asks for my life, completely and totally, I struggle really hard to maintain the facade of being in control. When God asks me to do something, I harass Him with a million questions, and try to figure everything out before moving again. And for a long time I thought that having questions meant that I lacked Faith. But I’ve learned from Our Lady at the Annunciation that it’s not that faith doesn’t ask questions, it means that it asks a specific kind of question.
When the angel Gabriel appeared to her, Mary didn’t ask: “Why are you asking this of me?” When hearing of this incredible and seemingly impossible call, Mary simply asked: How? “How can this be since I have no relations with a man?” Faith doesn’t ask the question why; it asks the question how. Our faith is seen when we ask the Lord how—How do You want me to live out my call? Mary trusted that the Lord had a plan in asking her to be the Mother of God, and Mary trusted that that plan would be fulfilled, so the only thing she needed to know was how He wanted her to do it.
Like I said before, I generally only trust God when I get to decide how I do it. So surrendering even my how is a painful task. When being called to marriage, my husband and I thought we knew how our life together would look. We were going to move into a home, have a nice garden, and have them quickly filled with our children, who we would raise to love the Lord and good music. But God’s how for us, so far, has looked much different.
He asks a lot of us; at times, He demands everything that is within us. But ultimately when we freely give it to Him, we allow the Lord to do things that seemed impossible for us, to work in ways which we could never have imagined. When we ask Him how He wants us to live our lives, and when we have faith that He has a plan for us, and that plan is to make us saints, we allow Him to make us these saints.
Believe, my dear sisters, that what is spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.
Reflect: How is God asking you to live out His call for your life? What, if anything, is holding you back?
Act: Take 10-15 minutes of silent prayer today. Ask the Lord how He wants you to live out your call.